Why I Don't Ship Glimmer and Clove
by Clovely
Summary: Because it's weird.


_Clove sat at the edge of the lake, dipping each of her knives into the water. Clouds of blood billowed from them, turning the bank a sickly copper. The Cornucopia had been quite the bloodbath; she could still feel the remnants of it as they dried on her face._

_About ten feet away, Glimmer was having trouble adjusting to the bow she had grabbed from the Cornucopia in a moment of panic. A crossbow - the one and only weapon she was proficient in operating - had been snagged from the fray by a little District straggler, and she had been powerless to pry it from them. She had settled for the closest thing, but it was proving to be difficult to use. As she loaded the bow with an arrow, aimed for the tree trunk and made to fire, the arrow dropped from her grasp and clattered to the sodden earth. _

_Glimmer cursed under her breath._

_"Having a bit of trouble there?" Clove jeered from her place on the ground as she dried her blades. Glimmer wheeled around to glower at her._

_"For your information, it's my first time using such a primitive bow. Practice makes perfect." She acquired a second arrow and loaded it - when she fired this time, it landed seven feet from her, lodged in the ground at a queer angle. _

_Clove laughed uproariously. "Shame, that," she said. "If you'd paid more attention to culling and less attention to your hair, you may just have picked something useful up. But, I digress. You're just as stupid as your counterpart."_

_Glimmer's smooth, white brow furrowed as she tossed her blonde tresses over her shoulder. "I'll have you know,__Clove__- "_

_"And I"ll have __you __know, Glimmer, that if it weren't for it being day one, I'd cleave you in half right now." Clove got to her feet, with a sleek carving knife in her tight grasp. As she advanced on the quivering Glimmer, the tall blonde beauty threw her bow in front of her body defensively. Clove smirked as she hit it aside._

_"Don't you dare try a thing, or I'll scream for Marvel," Glimmer hissed._

_"If Marvel so much as raises his spear to me, Cato will slaughter him. And maybe you. Or he might even leave that dirty little job to me."_

_Suddenly, an odd sensation came over Glimmer. She noticed that, in the sunlight filtering through the lush green canopy, that the blood splattered gracefully across Clove's face was quite... becoming. Her harsh, angular features somehow seemed elegant and alluring, her plain dark hair almost as pretty as her own. Glimmer's heart pounded desperately against her rib cage._

_"Oh, Clove," she whispered. "Tell me more about that dirty little job."_

_A strange feeling overtook Clove then. Glimmer's words swum serenely through her addled mind as she tried to process them. This process was not aided by the fact that all she could truly register was the way Glimmer's hair rippled in the breeze, snaking around her soft, shapely neck like a silky golden noose. Her eyelashes, her long, luscious eyelashes, fluttered over her deep green eyes. The girl was simply enchanting in every way, and Clove could not ignore it any longer. _

_"Oh, Glimmer! Kiss me, my dazzling beauty!"_

_And so they did. They rolled around in the damp earth, thrashing about like a pair of raccoons fighting over a delicious piece of disregarded cake. Their tongues interlocked, exploring each other's mouths hungrily as their hands trailed up and down their beautiful under-aged bodies._

_Meanwhile, in the control room, Seneca Crane was watching this transpire avidly. He masturbated so vigorously that in thirty seconds flat, his semen had exploded all over the controls, obscuring the screens and hanging in elegant strings from his regal facial hair. "Damn and blast!" he exclaimed as he used his robes to try and wipe his seed away. In the process, however, he inadvertently mashed all the buttons on the control panel, releasing a plethora of horrors upon the unsuspecting tributes in the arena. _

_As children ran this way and that, screaming, burning, blistering and bleeding from the eyes, Glimmer and Clove continued to make out on the forest floor. Cato, who was currently under siege at the hooves of a pack of acid-vomiting burlap sack Muttations resembling deer, burst into the clearing as lava spurted from the centre of the lake._

_"Clove! Glimmer!" he exclaimed in horror. "I thought you hated each other!"_

_"We do!" Clove replied as she came up for air. "But the arena changes people, Cato!"_

_So as the forest fell to pieces, and President Snow escorted Seneca Crane to the square for his public execution, the citizens of Panem watched the entire thing transpire on the live stream hosted by The Capitol._

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><p>If you at any point thought, "<em>Please oh gods oh gods please make it stop oh gods<em>", then you understand the story.


End file.
